GuestPost – J.D. McCabe Dance with the devil
J.D. “Danny” McCabe maintained a loving relationship with his wife for nearly twenty years before the underpinnings of their marriage, family, and world began to crumble. Their foundation had always been rooted in the mantra that trust is the bedrock of a healthy relationship. Indeed, Erin had always claimed that things wouldn’t, couldn’t work without trust. But one day, for reasons Danny could not fathom, Erin became suspicious of his every move.
Phone calls, text messages, and work emails were manufactured into proof of infidelity, drug addiction, and a network of lies.
She enlisted her mother in her efforts, and together they forged the words of family, trust, and honesty into a metaphorical hammer and beat him into the ground. Their accusations accumulated, twisting reality and eventually resulting in Danny’s involuntary hospitalization.
Danny was pushed to the edge and was damn near ready to jump. Then, God intervened. Erin’s shocking revelation, her Third Gift, lit the blind spots in his marriage that Danny had never before been able to reconcile.
J.D. “Danny” McCabe grew up in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, as the middle child of a huge family. From an early age, he was independent and a practical realist. This first-time author began writing his diary as a historical journal of events that evolved quickly and came without context.
Danny was encouraged to share this personal and unbelievable voyage in rediscovering himself by the many people who witnessed and heard about his journey firsthand. He is blessed with two beautiful adult children. J.D. resides in the Charleston, SC, area.
This was a devastating experience for you. How did you overcome this trauma to share your story?
Without question, I was emotionally empty and near my breaking point when God indeed intervened. Erin’s Third Gift to me provided the clarity I had been seeking regarding the demise of our marriage. Her gift restored my emotional strength and enabled me to begin reestablishing who I was as a man and a father. Throughout this traumatic journey, I was blessed to be supported by my children, family, friends, and an excellent therapist. Their belief in me never wavered. It was their belief, my faith, and the gift of emotional strength that I received from my parents that allowed me to keep moving forward.
What do you hope that readers gain from reading about what you’ve been through?
The high watermark would be for people to gain some semblance of inspiration. We all confront adversity at some point in our lives, and my hope would be for people to recognize that they are not alone. As my marriage began to collapse, I mistakenly kept it all to myself. I had a large family and a network of friends that I could have leaned on, but initially, I did not.
It almost cost me my life. I felt like I was on an island, isolated in my own home. Engaging others provided me with the proper perspective I would need as my storm intensified. I regained solid emotional footing by recognizing that the issues I was dealing with paled compared to what others were facing. I had to consciously choose to focus on what I had versus what I had lost or what had been taken from me.
What is the most valuable thing you have learned from writing The Third Gift?
This isn’t easy to answer as I learned a great deal. I believe the book illuminates just how enlightened I became in many different areas. However, if I had to select my most valuable lesson, it would be: believe in yourself! Be your advocate! A person with true character not only knows his strengths but also embraces his shortcomings. In the end, we should not allow ourselves to be judged or defined by anyone.
That should be left to God, or whatever higher power people believe in. For a short period, I lost sight of myself and allowed my now ex-wife and ex-mother-in-law to judge and define me.
Why did you decide to publish The Third Gift under a pseudonym?
The decision to utilize a pseudonym was not made to protect me or conceal my identity. It was to protect the privacy of those involved. Throughout our four-year-plus journey, the list of people that became involved was quite extensive. The vast majority were inadvertently entangled in our web while a select few chose to be a part of it, even though they had no business being involved.
What advice can you give to anyone who finds themselves in a seemingly hopeless situation outside of their control?
You cannot outrun it or escape it, so embrace it. Seize the opportunity to learn and grow from it. Have an outlet(s) to process all of the negative emotions you will experience as quickly as possible. I was blessed to have confidants within my family and friends that I could turn to, but I needed other mechanisms most of the time.
For me, they were music, exercise, church, and writing my thoughts down. As difficult as it was to do on some days, I counted my blessings to keep me grounded. If you have children, recognize that they will be watching. As you go, they will go. You have a tremendous opportunity to lead by example with the choices you make during challenging times.
“In every difficult situation is potential value. Believe this, then begin looking for it.”
A shocking true memoir, psychological thriller, and an unbelievable journey into one man’s nightmare. Follow all the below links to purchase.