Guestpost – Sarah Lee
So I have always been the one with the larger breasts, big hips and apple bottom. I can remember looking at a photo of my friends and me in our bikinis from our recent holiday abroad, them all with small breasts and me with these huge things, we were all in our late twenties and ever so young.
In my thirties time I lent a female friend of my then-boyfriend a pair of trousers when she spilt wine on herself, they were a small size 12 that I had slightly grown too big for, but they swamped her, the feeling of thinking I was too big but looking back she was naturally very slight.
This woman is still this build even now after having three children, but that is her body.
In my forties, I was advised by a gynaecologist to stop my retail job due to all the very heavy lifting, which had caused a slight prolapse. I took her advice and changed careers. It was only about a year later that I noticed after my period that I was still bloated. I went to the doctors and had many various scans. Eventually, I had a myomectomy where they cut open across my bikini line to have a good look.
I always remember the specialist seeing me after the op and telling me they had found nothing. I felt so deflated as all I wanted was my old stomach back, ok it was never flat as a pancake, but it also didn’t look round.
For a couple of years, my stomach shape changed to me, and I was contemplating having a tummy tuck. Fortunately, I spoke to a lovely lady doctor who confirmed that my stomach muscles had probably just got very weak, maybe from all the heavy lifting. I also talked to a lovely gynaecologist who spoke me out of the tummy tuck; they were both so understanding and supportive.
Unfortunately, my Mum died when I was 48. This was when my perimenopause kicked in; what a double whammy that was, dealing with terrible grief, working as a support worker with adults with learning difficulties and the joys of menopause (terrible brain fog and gaining a stone……), thank god I have come out the other side ok.
HRT has helped me; ok have always used patches, but the first type of tablets I tried alongside these gave me terrible PMT (poor hubby)and made me very hungry. I was rather lucky to have a dedicated HRT nurse at my surgery who gave me a call to see how I was doing and who listened to my woes and changed my tablets to have a period every three months instead of monthly. So far, so good and no more PMT. I hope I’ve not jinxed myself there.
Anyway, I have discovered a newfound inner strength with the perimenopause and the death of my Mum if I could deal with all of that in the same year and that fact that it has made me realise that life is so very, very short am on to a winner.
I love my body for the first time, all lumps, bumps and all and had wished I had not wasted so much energy on fretting about it. Finally, finally, I am 50 and healthy. Ok, the doc said I could lose a couple of pounds if I wanted to, but it was not a be-all and end-all. I’m totally body positive and don’t feel any pressure to please anybody but me; I love buying fashion. Still, I know what suits my body shape rather than buying an item because it’s in fashion. I have never felt in such a good place.
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