Return of the Asshat -Guest – Post

Well, that’s it, they have resurfaced. Its been 12 months, 12 whole months! The original sob story I was given about how they were so damaged by an ex, and they were not in a position to ever date seems to have been forgotten as hang on, they have a long term partner now WHO THEY LIVE WITH. Right so yet again, why are you messaging me?

Those that know me well know that I always have an open-door policy, my home will always be a safe-haven for those in genuine need. If shit goes down, I will always be there for my loved ones, no matter what. I am well aware this does leave me prone to being abused, but why should I change my genuine heart when it is how I have been brought up?

So they say they miss me, they say they are really struggling with work through the pandemic (they are the front line in their defence but then so am I) and that they really need a friend at the moment. Well hello, that’s me, captain stupid. I offer very supportive text messaging back and forth, and then it all goes quiet again.

I am in the middle of work, minding my own business when my phone gives that little ping. Glance down at it and its Asshat, asking to stay the night, needs a friend. Hmmm well ok, I have a spare room, I always cook too much food for dinner so I will have extra and we can have a good old catch up of the last 12 months. Oh innocent me, how I chuckle now reading this.

This was my genuine intention, I was concerned, they have had a mental health issue in the past, and I wanted to support them as best as possible. I do cook dinner, discuss work horror stories, and celebrate the amazing way colleagues have pulled together. We describe our fears and concerns over the current pandemic. It’s nice, friendly, and happy.

I go off to do the dishes. I insist guests don’t lift a finger in my abode, and while I am busy with my marigolds, I haven’t noticed they have appeared behind me. They hold me. I smash a glass in the sink at the sheer shock they have touched me, and before I can do anything about it, they lean forward and kiss my neck. Ding ding ding, all common sense has now left my brain.

Do not judge me too harshly in this. I did not start it, I did not instigate it, and this is someone my body feels magnetically drawn to even when I hate them with the force of a thousand suns. I know this is wrong, I know this person has more red flags than a party political parade in China, but I just can not help myself. This is my missing piece, but now I do not know what to do.

When did life get so goddamn complicated?

Love Mr Nononsense     To be continued…..