Avoiding Toxic People
I think as we get older we suddenly get wiser on who we want to be around. Some people thrive on drama and gossip, avoid these kinds of people. These kinds of people what say to you “I shouldn’t be telling you this” are the kinds of people who will then be gossiping about you, don’t think for one second they won’t be repeating your business.
I have learnt to tell people what I want them to know and not what they want to know. If someone has to spend all there time on Facebook stalking what people are up to and then repeating all that and adding a bit on why on earth would you want to be associated with them?
To experience gaslighting from friends and family members is awful, this is a tactic in which a person makes up such a good story and manipulates a person to the point the person being gaslighted questions their sanity. They manipulate the information to make themselves feel better and to turn other people against you.
Telling blatant lies about someone is just nasty, and when someone is doing this to you over time, it can wear you down. Its usually done over some time, snide comments here and there until they have people believing their crap.
Gaslighters are masters at manipulating and finding people they know who will stand by them and believe their crap. A gaslighter is a constant lair and will often tell people you are crazy as it gives them the power to ruin you and your reputation. They need domination and its all about control.
How to deal with a gaslighter:
Visualise yourself without the relationship and begin to distance yourself from this person, you do not need to be around anyone who’d does this to you. I don’t care if this is a family member or a friend that you have known for years… this behaviour is not acceptable.
Gaslighters live for an “us against them” mentality. And that mentality is gold for people with low self-esteem. They will convince you that they are all you need: that you don’t need anyone else, friends or family. They will also align people against you, and they love having witnesses in their back pocket.
The only way to get away from a gaslighter is to cut off all communication and remove them from your life. Cutting off all contact speaks volumes to the gaslighter, delete and block and move on.. they will be on to there next victim within weeks… just remember you got strong and wised up to their vile behaviours.
How To Learn To Trust Yourself:
- Practise mindfulness.
- Keep a journal for feelings.
- Get some counselling for support.
- Affirm your beliefs and opinions.
Life is so short, so don’t let anyone put you down, surround yourself with genuine people and remove all the toxic ones and watch your life get better.