Have you ever dated someone that made Pinocchio look like an innocent victim? My old man used to say that if you were going to be a good liar, you had to have a bloody good memory and this is where most liars get caught out. They cant remember some previous BS they have given you and all of a sudden you are putting the story together in your head quicker than Jessica Fletcher can solve a murder. I do not claim to be innocent here, the number of times I have said to someone at the end of a conversation “yeah let’s catch up properly soon” while secretly thinking that if they call you it will always go through to answerphone……. But I have never been an out and out liar, my memory is shocking and anyone who can follow a thread will catch me out so I don’t even bother. I wish I could say the same for some previous partners!

I don’t like going for someone that is full of drama, I can normally see it like a beacon shining around them and I will avoid at all costs. I am a positive person and I don’t want to be dragged into something that is not my chaos nor do I want to spend our relationship having to deal with your psychotic ex or constantly wondering what crisis we will lurch to next, while I can stand my ground and fight my own battles, I don’t really have the energy to fight yours as well. It probably makes me sound selfish but I know what drags me down mentally and I don’t want to be there again in the darkness, I want to run freely in the sunshine.

That being said, it’s hard when someone tries to tipex their past and leave out some crucial details or even fabricate a different version. Special props here must go to the ex who told me they were mid-divorce so I would actually go on a date with them. On the date, they tell me a great tale of sadness of how they caught their partner in bed with someone of the same sex and walked out of the marital home the same day choosing to bunk up with a mate and rent a room. When four months later they came home from work steaming that they had received a letter from a solicitor as their ex-partner had taken offence to our blossoming relationship and started divorce proceedings…….. hold up a minute?! That’s not what you said? Whenever I smell a rat, I begin to dig and all of a sudden I find that they are not living with a mate and actually living with the ex-mother-in-law who hoped that by putting them up they would eventually work their problems out and get back together.

Don’t lie, people, you will get caught out eventually and it just makes you look an asshat. 

Yours Faithfully


Mr.No Nonsense